White Shell Healing Services

i had another post to put here, but mercury in retrograde ate it.  so, a poem is gonna have to suffice while i lament all the time & words & energy i just lost.

i'm a healer
had it confirmed by a 
lightning bolt bus driver
when i was 19
after naming it for myself 
while reading a book
that beckoned me from the 
shelves of the public library
while i was trying to figure out
who the fuck am i?

i didn't know that healers could be
addicts & survivors
crazy & chronically ill
queer & brown
femme & soft
broken & whole

but here i am
in all my glory
addict & survivor
crazy & chronically ill
queer & brown
femme & soft
broken & whole
& i am a healer

i've had to sift through a lot of lies that were told to me about me. i've had to grieve, a lot, & learn how to trust my naming of things. i've learned how to time travel & decode my queer healer family tree.

in the past 12 years, i have uncovered a blood // given family tree fecund with healers, birthworkers, witches, orators, & medicine people.  i have also learned that colonial violence--through forced government & church run boarding school attendance, substance abuse, forced removal // displacement, emotional // physical // sexual abuse, homophobia, misogyny, to name a few--has caused us to forget who we are & where we come from.  

luckily, my feelings have never let me turn away, turn off for too long, & have saved me from staying dead on the inside.  i have come back, for you, for us, for my ancestors & our descendants, so we can remember our brilliance, our softness, so we can remember how we used to love each other & come back home.

it is my pleasure & honor to join the femme healers that came before me, that i come with now, & that will come after me.  check out my work & offerings here, at White Shell Healing Services.

me & with my shinális (paternal grandparents) peeking over my shoulder, birthworker & orator, both beloved community spirtual healers. i was in dinétah, acting as a death doula for shináli asdzáá (paternal grandmother).