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INSIDE THIS HEART OF MINE

How to Help Die What Needs to Die: Deatheater Femme & the Autumn Equinox with a Scoop of Mercury in Retrograde

9/26/2015

 
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This past Wednesday was the Autumn Equinox.  I'm going through a lot of changes, upheavals really, & from what I observe, you might be as well.  Luckily, as a death-eating femme, I know a thing or two about how to make room for pulled from the Pluto-root life upheavals, AND the blessings this will bring. 

First-first thing you should know, this shit is not your fault.  It's probably in your stars or something (book me for a reading & we can find out for sure), & while you may have been able to put this inevitable crossroads off for a few more months, or at least days, this is where you were always meant to be.  You can trust this process, too.

Mercury in Retrograde always wants us to check our shit before we go involving other people, & I urge you to do so now.  With these big life shifts, it can be tempting to blame it on this injustice or that fucked up situation, & I have no doubt that there were lots of things beyond your influence, but all that matters is that you are here.  What are you going to do?

You can pretend you don't know what cycle I am referring to, that you have in fact no intuitive sense that you've been here before or that this was more than probable, but if you could take a deep breath right now ---------- there.  That.  There is no need to tire yourself further.  You are right where you need to be.  

​Now, let's get on about this helping die what needs to die business.

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  1. Pray for yourself first, surrender the thing that’s been burning in your heart to Spirit.  I promise, Spirit can handle it.  You do not have to carry it alone.
  2. Let the feelings out—cry, moan, yell, break down & open, pound, wiggle, breathe.  Don’t try & make sense of it first, sometimes the clarity around emotion comes after the release.
  3. Forgive yourself.  You are always changing.  You are not the same person who did that thing, who hurt the one you loved, who didn’t know how to do it better, who has always had & will always have a good heart.  
  4. Accept the things you have no control over.  This includes everything & everyone that is not you.  No matter what happens, you are enough.  You have always been enough, done enough, loved & fought hard enough.  In fact, you are more than enough.  You are perfect.  You are made up of Ancestral prayers.
  5. Bury that rotten thing in your arms, the one that you’ve been dragging around for years.  I know it hurts.  I know it's hard.  I know you don’t know how.  May I offer a few suggestions?
  6. Visit a body of water if you can.  But before you do, write the thing that Spirit has already been calling back onto paper in whatever format you’d like.  Burn it & keep the ash.  Add flowers or seeds or stones or crystals or your hair or other burned to ash things, & take it to the water.
  7. Call upon your Ancestors, your Spirit Guides, Goddesses & Gods, Sacred Beings, or even your holy Future Ancestral Self.  Ask them to help you, to take it from you, to take care of it because you have done all that you can & now you accept that it is time to surrender.  
  8. Offer them sweet things as gifts of your gratitude: chocolate, flowers, tears, & whatever else you feel inspired to give.  If you ask them, they will let you know.  They want to connect with you & help you because they love you.
  9. Take deep breaths.  Feel that all that room?  That’s where your new life is growing.  Tell yourself over & over how you deserve answered prayers.  Be gentle & patient with this new you.  
  10. When I was in Jr. High, the school counselor passed out bookmarks with affirmations on them.  When I first read these words, I felt no connection or reaction, but today they are the short story-to-the-point version of my life:                                
           I am loveable.  I am worthwhile.  I matter because I exist.

Every word is true.  I promise.

XO
Lettie
High Moon Femme Healer

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Lettie Laughter is a community healer single femme mama.  They are currently trying to raise $$$money$$$ to get them & their kiddo to their next home where beloved femmeily is awaiting their arrival!  If Lettie's work has ever brought you clarity or comfort, please consider donating to their fundraiser or PayPal, both located on the right sidebar, & sharing this info.  You can also support by booking a reading of your own!    



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    Photo by Wit López, 2016


    ​Lettie Laughter

    is a chronically ill queer brown femme, community healer, poet, playwright, & performer extraordinaire.  They live, femmeifest, love, & write in Philly.

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